Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
