i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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