i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize