just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
