ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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