Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
