its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
