A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
