If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
