Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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