dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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