As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
