it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
