i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
