I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my shit smells like andre
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
