I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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