Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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