Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
