Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I bet he comes in French.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
