Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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