the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Hippo gnu deer
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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