You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
