Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
