I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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