Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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