just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Drake has all the answers
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
