she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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