If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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