Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
