So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
