I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
