I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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