Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
time to smoke my breakfast
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Randomize
