she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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