My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
