I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
