The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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