Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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