turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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