Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize