whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I think i got beer on your cat.
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