We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
