I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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