Hippo gnu deer
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
