Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
