i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
