He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
