i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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