My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
ok first of all what the fuck
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
