Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
