they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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