and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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