Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
